Mike Sullivan
From the Jul/Aug 2009 Issue of Lay Witness Magazine
My family had the privilege of partaking in the last meal my mother ever cooked. We didn’t know it would be the last, of course, and it wasn’t anything extravagant, but she insisted on cooking for us even though she was very sick and should have been resting.
The visit that brought us to that meal, only a few months ago, wasn’t an ordinary family visit. My wife and I had rounded up our eight children and flown to Denver to spend some time with my mother as she entered the final stages of her battle with cancer. We shared in what became her last week at home before she entered the hospital. She died only a couple weeks later.
That final meal, etched in our memories, was just a glimpse at a lifetime of sharing meals together.
My mother loved to cook. She set a beautiful table and served beautiful meals. More importantly, though, was the way she created opportunities for people to gather, sharing stories and good conversation. The dinner table was a favorite spot for all of us.
My dad used to jokingly talk about supper at “Annie’s Kitchen” as though it were a famous restaurant. He would brag about what a great cook Mom was. And he would wonder out loud why we would ever want to eat at a restaurant when we had such great food and company at home.
When he and Mom were first married, they bought a dining room set that was far larger than two people could possibly need. They had looked at many smaller sets, any of which would have sufficed, but Mom wanted a big table to go with the big family she hoped to have.
Of course, such a big table fit more than just family. We lived in a neighborhood where there were many children our ages, and there was rarely a meal without an extra friend or two. Whether it was Chris, a mentally disabled boy from down the street (and a great basketball player), or Timmy, my friend who had to fend for himself at suppertime, there was always room for one more.
I remember my dad coming home late from work one evening, after we had already started eating (something that rarely happened). He walked into the kitchen to take his seat, only to find the large table completely full. He joked with Mom that she had gotten her wish-a full table!
That full table at the Sullivan house was a place for nourishing not just bodies, but souls. Mom saw mealtime as an opportunity for teaching and sharing. She knew that our faith and our family are special and that we are called to share them with others. We kids, along with whoever else was present, learned our faith at the supper table. Mom once compared it to a catechetical roundtable: “Please pass the potatoes, and what did you say the Third Commandment was?”
Mom cared so much for each of the people around the table. She came from a home where her parents struggled with alcoholism and marital problems. She knew that some of our friends came from broken homes and needed a family that was warm and welcoming. Her generous hospitality was her way of sharing the love of Christ that permeated her life.
She wanted her children and their families to share in the joy of family meals, too. Some years back, she made a special cookbook for all of us. It included our favorite meals, as well as special instructions for making each dish delicious and beautiful. On the opening page, she wrote, “Always thank God for your food. He seasons it all with grace and love. And ask Our Lady to help you get it all ready at once and for it to be good.”
With each recipe she would add a note at the end about how to serve it, and each note ended with, “And Pray!”
My mother has gone to her eternal reward, and she will be deeply missed by all of us. But what a great honor and privilege it was to be a guest at Annie’s Kitchen.
Sullivan is the president of Catholics United for the Faith and publisher of Lay Witness and Emmaus Road Publishing. He contributed to the most recent volume of the best-selling Catholic for a Reason series: The Mystery of Marriage and Family Life. He has also written for Our Sunday Visitor, This Rock, and National Catholic Register. Sullivan has appeared as a commentator on current issues in the Catholic Church on several television and radio programs. Sullivan has written and given talks on such topics as Christian marriage and family life, the teachings of Vatican II, Pope John PaulII’s “theology of the body,” the role of the laity in the Church, and devotion to Mary. Sullivan resides in Toronto, Ohio, with his wife, Gwen, and their eight children.
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